honeynutgiornos:

honeynutgiornos:

*takes a deep breath* I will not let this fictional character ruin me

failed step one

(Source: rohangoestohell, via ridingdamon)

46,559 notes
The best times to kiss a girl

abraesive:

When she’s babbling on about something. When you’re arguing. When you see her. When you’re with her. When you’re with your friends. When she cries. When shes happy. When she does something you love. After you ask her out. After she says she loves you. After you just kissed her. Before you leave. My point is, whenever you get the chance to kiss her, kiss her. It makes her feel loved. 

if you kiss me when we’re arguing i will punch you straight in the fucking jaw

(Source: nessajoybabe, via damonsalvatoure)

344,796 notes
  • me: no one ever texts me
  • *gets a text*
  • me: wtf do you want
169,725 notes

rexuality:

I hate being told to do something I was already planning on doing

like I was all about doing this task, and then you told me to do it and now i am annoyed and this task is now 300x less likely to be completed

(via kevingarvy)

122,681 notes
Things I Say While I'm Driving
  • Me: What the fuck are you doing. What. The fuck. Are you doing.
  • Me: NICE BLINKER ASSHOLE.
  • Me: Why the FUCK are we not even going to speed limit. Why.
  • Me: I AM GOING TEN MILES PER HOUR OVER THE SPEED LIMIT WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT
  • Me: Shit is that a cop? No.
  • Me: Shit THAT is a cop.
  • Me: /dinosaur screams/
423,298 notes

cokeflow:

call me old fashioned but 4 year olds should not own iPhones

(Source: fingerblaster113, via allineedisvolleyball)

212,506 notes

bleachdalilah:

thtwhitegurrl:

slutdust:

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?

PLEASE EXPLAIN

(via daety)

285,943 notes
  • me: makes a mistake
  • me: thinks about mistake every night for the next 7 years
343,577 notes

ben-walker:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over

(via damonspain)

145,774 notes